The Brownest Spot on the Web

Faith Can Be Restored

2008-06-23T14:38:00.000-07:00

I know we shouldn't have center our faith in the world and its people. This "fun fact" was especially reiterated to me as I wrote the last post- "Wretched World". But this morning, I prayed that God would encourage me, and help me understand where the light was in this world. I don't believe I stumbled upon this video by chance.

Where In The Hell Is Matt 2008 - Watch more free videos

Wretched World

2008-06-23T10:11:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted in a while..partially because I haven't had much to say, but also because I don't think many people really read this blog. That reasoning of course, points out the true reason why this blogs exist- wanting others to worship me.

But what stirred me out of blogging hibernation was a story a friend of mine sent me about something she experienced recently. It made me think. It may make you think. So read on..

Subject: P's weekend
Disclaimer: Story from my weekend. Feel free to delete if you’re not interested. Also, feel free to respond as long as you’re not responding with your opinion on this war. That is NOT what this is about.

My Saturday night:
We hear a lot about the war. Everyone has their opinions on this war. I do believe that you can be against the war and still support the troops but this weekend I experienced a conversation that I found totally repulsive. And that feeling has stuck to me. I sat at a dinner party with a former US Marine who had served in Iraq . We were discussing all the things he experienced; just little stuff like the spiders, the heat and things of that nature. He told us a few things that I found very compelling; very touching human stories. He started by telling us about how things changed during the course of his time in Iraq . He recalled a time when he first got there and he accidently glanced at a woman for a split second. Women are not to be acknowledged and because he did so haphazardly glance toward her she was beaten in front of him because it was her fault that she had been acknowledged. He stood there not being able to do anything about it. Later, once women were given rights, he could intervene in that type of situation.

As the conversation continued he was talking about how the “enemy” did not engage in ethical warfare. He experienced having an injured individual surrender. Because he was injured they are required to render aid. So he tells another “Go cuff him so we can take him to a hospital. He is shot.” The other Marine goes to cuff him and the “surrendered” pulls a grenade killing them both.

The most compelling moment was him telling about people aiming at them with car bombs. They shoot once to tell the driver to stop and then they shoot to kill. Realizing that they do this, the driver would include his family in the car in order to cause hesitation in the Marine. He says, “I can see them through my scope. I can see a man driving full force at us and I can see his wife and kids screaming in the car. What do I do? Do I kill a family or do I let them blow us all up? What do I do?”

Later I was talking with another dinner guest who overheard this conversation. He says, “I couldn’t stand listening to that Marine talk all heroic about the war.” And I literally became sick to my stomach. Here there is this guy who was there, lived it, saw it first hand and was talking about his life experiences; very profound life experiences. This other guy was so self-righteous in his anti-war stance that he couldn’t even understand the value of such a human experience. He had no respect for this man who went over there and laid his life on the line day after day, had to deal with gut-wrenching moral dilemmas, and watched his friends get blown up before his eyes. Not to mention the lasting mental/emotional effects that would have on a person.

I really could not believe my ears that someone who probably sits behind a desk with a computer and AC all day could speak with such complete and total disdain in their voice regarding someone who had the guts to serve their country. I was completely disgusted. Despite my sarcasm I am generally all roses and sunshine in my outlook on life. But ever since then all I can think is how terrible this world is and how wretched we all really are.

So I read it. And it made me sad. So I began to write her back...but I started to think that perhaps this would be best if I shared what I was going to say to her, with all (use that term loosely) of you. So here ya go-

P-

Its very unfortunate that that happened. People can be very close minded about a topic like this. It seems that an increasing majority of people form their views on limited research and the propoganda they're fed because they aren't willing to do the work needed to make a educated and well thought out point. So in an attempt to feel important, they formulate these one-sided opinions and spread them without a care in the world. And they are willing to degrade others who accept what they think or feel the same way.
But the real reason I replied back was what you said in the last two sentences of your story:

"Despite my sarcasm I am generally all roses and sunshine in my outlook on life. But ever since then all I can think is how terrible this world is and how wretched we all really are."

There was an article (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080621/ap_on_re_us/out_of_control) I read recently about how American's are depressed and anxious about various issues going on. Fires, floods, war, famine, our economy, and gas prices have resulted in tremendous worry and a general feeling of helplessness.
Though your story focuses on the moral issues of the war, your conclusion is focused on the state of our country and the mood of its people. Perhaps all these opinions can be traced to a general sense of hopelessnes that Americans have. Afterall, we are probably the first generation that has to deal with the thought that US isn't as powerful and prosperous as it once was. And we're seeing evidence of that each day. We're also the first group that have seen the tremendous properity of the last two decades- so the last years have been like a constant punch in the gut. But History has taught us that every great civilization falters- I guess no one ever really discusses the psychological turmoil that people can experience when their civilization begins to fall.
And I think I'm kind of replying because your story was a little encouraging- in a weird way. Not that I am happy that you are discouraged- but because I am not alone in feeling this way. In fact, this morning, from the time I woke up till I read your email, I had been dwelling on worries about life- from the very issues about my future in this economy, to personal anxiety about my life's issues. I was even thinking about how nice it would be to go back to the 80s and early 90s when I didn't have any of these thoughts!
But I when I get this way, I have to remind myself that this anxiety is here because I am allowing myself to look at the situation as a non-believer would. (I still haven't quite mastered not doing that.) What I mean is that as a non-believer, you don't have security in why you're here now, or where you're going afterwards. (Trust me, if people say they don't believe in God, its because they're convicted by the sin they've committed thus far a don't know about grace, or they've pondered the tremedous changes their life would have to undergo by recognizing God's existence and simply don't want to.) So as a non-believer, you might see these issues with great worry and feel like you have no control over the coming days.
But in contrast- as a believer, you can cope with these issues by reminding yourself there is life after this world, and that all the negativity in the world are explained by sin. Something the Bible clearly describes and even fortells.
Anyways, this has been more of a ramble than anything...but I'm glad you sent me that story...it inspired me to process somethings that I've been struggling with and remind myself about how I should approach discouraging issues.

Love it.

2008-02-20T08:30:00.000-08:00

Micheal Moore has made some decent movies..on occassion. He is also extremely fat nowadays. This post is about his latter achievement.
(Click on the picture to see it enlarged)

This posting was orginally made by the hilarious blogger- What Would Tyler Durden Do .

Its all in the name...

2008-02-20T07:04:00.000-08:00

Marketing is an art form. It seems as those these businesses need some art lessons.

"It's UNBA-WEAVABLE"

(No Comment Necessary)

Click here for more

Science Fair

2008-02-19T14:13:00.001-08:00

Remember all the zany projects that we came up with when you did a Science Fair project in elementary school? I can finally appreciate the teachers who had to review all of the submissions.

So here's to you- "What Happens When You Eat Your Boogers"..

A Collection of Science Fair Projects by Photo Basement

I love the WWW.

2008-02-15T12:27:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I stumbled upon this blog: Stuff White People Like

Its awesome! The more I read it, the more I realized its not a joke website, though some of the things listed are rather funny. They actually take the things they believe white people enjoy, and break it down. Here is a sample (guest post from another site) that I found particularly amusing yet true.

Top Ten Hip Hop Songs White People Love

For all the baby-mommas out there...

2008-02-11T10:24:00.001-08:00

The pictures seem are from a book by David and Kelly Sopp. All credits go to them, for the marvelous book! If you like it, you can buy it on Amazon, as it would make a great gift: http://www.amazon.com/Safe-Baby-Handling-Tips-David/dp/0762424915

I'm Back Baby!!

2008-01-10T10:13:00.000-08:00

Another hiatus for the extended holidays. I am gathering all my adventures and exploits to share in the upcoming days..but till then, here is where I get my ideas for pranking all you unsuspecting people!

Hilarious Japanese TV Show
Uploaded by thexcity

Just Awesome.

2007-11-09T13:15:00.000-08:00

I've been really convicted in the last few days about some issues in my life, because of some powerful messages that I've been listening to recently.

Mainly the issue I feel convicted about is my biblical strength- my ability to converse with believers and non believers, (particularly the latter) and be able to speak knowledgeably, and be able to provoke thoughts that lead others to the truth.

I know one of the common complaints that I (as well as numerous others) may have is how can we speak the truth of Jesus, with confidence to the non-believer.

As I pondered this, I realized that there is no easy solution besides seeking God through Prayer and immersing yourself in the word.

Here is an POWERFUL example, of the results of these actions.

Christian Guy Totally Owns Mormons - Watch more free videos

Thank you Jesus!

Walmart in the Morning

2007-11-02T13:27:00.000-07:00

So yesterday my brother Chris sent me an email announcement that Walmart was having a big sale today at 8am. Normally a Walmart sale doesn’t get me fired up because there is only so many car air filters and Ex-lax one can stockpile in your underground shelter.

However, this sale was actually pretty good- they had 4 items you could choose from. The best of which was either an Acer Laptop for $398 or a Toshiba HD Dvd player for $98. I immediately became excited of the thought of seeing HD movies and was interested in that, so I decided that I would beat the crowds, and stop on my way to work, just pick up one. It would probably add 10-15 minutes to my commute.
I was wrong..

I arrived at 7:30am and proceeded to the electronics section to look for (what I assumed) the giant stack of DVD players. Let me first just say that you have to be a dedicated person to do your Walmart shopping at 7:30am. Not only are you faced with a plethora of workers that are moving like they are wearing pants full of molasses, but their combined “morning-brain-power” is that of a jellyfish. As I searched along each of the aisles, and low and behold- didn’t find it, I paused to ask a employee named (not making this up) “Danishique," where the sale items were.

Me: “Excuse me, do you know where the sale DVD players are?”

Danishique: “I nonno. (Translation: I don’t know Sir) Goasslayaway" (Translation: Go ask layaway)

Me: Nothing because she was already walking away.

So I went to “Lay Away” and lo and behold I saw it. A line of people. I was number 9 in the line. I found out quickly, through the line gossip, that A) They wouldn’t begin to sell till 8am and B) there were only 11 DVD players available.

So as I waited, I begin to observe the 8 people in line in front of me. Here is what I witnessed:

Customer #1- Super Nerd
Description: Short nerdy fellow, approximately 35-40 years old, not married (or much less has touched a woman), wearing a “Spock Rules” tshirt, carrying a HAM Radio/Police Scanner ON HIS BELT with an ear piece in his ear.

(Artists Conception)

Behavior: Very excited to be there to get both a computer and DVD player. According to his conversation with EVERYONE IN LINE (even if you weren’t talking to him or even making eye contact), he had arrived at 5am (sale started at 8am) and was glad he got there to get this awesome computer. Kept getting out of line to walk around corner (which the line was beginning to wrap around) and see how far the line had grown. (With each line check, he would remind the audience of his arrival at 5am and how glad he was that he was first.)

Customer #2- Fat Super Nerd

Description- Dude who looks EXACTLY like the Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons

Behavior: Spends most of his time in line trying to get Customer #1's attention to tell him that he knew about this sale before anyone on the planet- including the management of Walmart, because he knew this guy that works in a Walmart in Arkansas. Has a large leather fanny purse that possibly holds the stick of butter he munches on to maintain his figure.

Customers #3-6- White Trash Walmart Big Spenders

Description:

Behavior: These "L.O.W."s or Ladies Of Walmart, are guarding their spot in line like its the bucket of fried chicken they consumed for breakfast that morning. They glare angrily at Customer #1 each time he leaves the line and thus his right to get the prized computers, or "Electric Etch-A-Skitches" as they fondly refer to them.

Customers #7-8- Asian Ebay Wizards

Description: Every item these two purchase is for the sole purpose of reselling.

Behavior: These two talked non stop about purchasing the computer and DVD player, and how much money they could get for it on Ebay. Showed no apparent work clothing, indicating their home business being their full time occupation, but seemed successful at purchasing items the first day they come out and selling them at small profits before Christmas. Both were surfing the internet on their phones, listening to music on their MP3 players, while talking to each other and prospective buyers/suckers on the phone. If Walmart didn't have a 1 item per customer policy, these two would have screwed me, and the 47 other people in line behind me.

Customer #9- Me

Description-

Behavior- Super cool

Still alive..

2007-11-01T08:59:00.000-07:00

Hey all..I'm still alive. Still haven't figured out how to best post my pics from Italy. Syliva's birthday was yesteday- she's a Halloween Baby, and I will begin posting again soon.

Pizza! Pizza!

2007-09-25T06:29:00.003-07:00

Ahh the old catchphrase of the Little Ceasars pizza joint that my family would frequently dine at when I was a kid. Unfortunately the cuisine is nothing like that here in Italy. Yes, Sylvia and I are celebrating out 3 year anniversary in a "Tour of Italy" (Not to be confused with the 26 course meal by Olive Garden).

Here is what we've seen so far.

Naples
Sorrento
Mt. Vesivius
Amalfi Town
Positano
Florence
Pisa
Vernazza
Venice

All in One day! Just kidding...I will provide you with more detail and pictures when I get back.

Stereotypes Rule!!

2007-09-14T05:22:00.001-07:00

Now if we could only find one video of an indian dancing badly, I would post it. I swear!

Two Handicapped Kung Fu Action Stars Team Up For Super Kung Fu Handicapped Action!

2007-09-12T10:42:00.000-07:00

Dreamy.

2007-08-30T10:20:00.000-07:00

So I've been really Facebook addicted recently. (If you haven't been on Facebook.com you should, and become my friend, so I can be involved in every single detail and event in your everyday life. I know you want it.) Anyways, it has been interesting connecting and feeling somewhat connected with people you know well, know somewhat, and even those you know because your sister-in-law's baby cousin Tracey went to junior high with their baby's daddy.

Last night I was inputting my college name into my Facebook profile and it allows you to search the websites members who also list your alma mater as their own. It even searches them by graduating class. I perused some of the profile pictures, when I stumbled upon an ex's (#1) face.

Now I've heard bits and pieces about their life since college, but it was very tempting to look at their Facebook page and see how they were doing and what they were up to. But alas, I was foiled because their profile was private and didn't allow my cyber stalking.

As I prepared for bed last night, I asked Sylvia (my wife for the new readers) what she thought of the access to old flames via the Internet, and what she would think about me communicating with "Ex"s. She was pretty cool about it- though admitting that at the beginning of our relationship she would have had more of an issue, and she thought that after knowing me for 3 years, she felt that I could be trusted. lol.

Well, I told you that story to tell you this one.

This morning I woke up after having a particularly strange dream. As Sylvia got ready for work, I retold it to her. I guess it was linked to my reminiscing through Facebook, as my dream involved my attendance at my ex-girlfriend #2's wedding. As I looked for a seat, I noticed several people I knew in college, a good friend Jamie and her husband, and even a friend from highschool- Jill.

I told Sylvia that I got to talk to Jamie in my dream. To which she then asked- "So how is Jamie doing?".

I said: "I don't know, it was a dream Sylvia."

Its great to start the day off with a gut hurting laugh.

Watch Out Ashley!

2007-08-29T07:42:00.000-07:00

Maybe I don't give the Canadian Football League enough credit. Afterall, they produce steller half-time shows like this.

A Lil Pitchy Dawg...

2007-08-28T09:03:00.000-07:00

Reuters News. A standard in the news publishing world. Known for hard hitting journalism, credability and ground breaking stories.

It must have been a slow news day.

One gene may be key to coveted perfect pitch

By Julie Steenhuysen
Mon Aug 27, 5:23 PM ET

CHICAGO (Reuters) - Musicians and singers work for years to
develop their sense of pitch but few can name a musical note without a reference tone. U.S. researchers on Monday said one gene may be the key to that coveted ability.

Only 1 in 10,000 people have perfect or absolute pitch, the uncanny ability to name the note of just about any sound without the help of a reference tone.

"One guy said,'I can name the pitch of anything -- even farts,"' said Dr. Jane Gitschier of the University of California, San Francisco, whose study appears in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

Wow. Even farts? Now, I realize that my untrained ears tended to to classify my trumpeting at a pretty consistent "A flat", with the occassional trilling into the higher octaves whenever I consumed bean products, but the ability to detect the actual notes in my solos is something I am very interested in.

My kids are definately getting piano lessons now.

A Simple Gift

2007-08-27T19:36:00.001-07:00

Oftentimes, this blog is just a way to make my family & friends laugh. Its been fun seeing your comments and talking about various posts whenever I see you. (Mostly through my bringing up the subject- which is sad in a way)

Often when I look at the tens of hundreds of videos and clips (true fact) in a week, I find myself smirking or thinking how stupid that was....But every now and again, you stumble upon something that makes you just want to think and share because you know it can potentially spark something in someone elses heart like it did yours.

Thats why this video is more than the normal posting on my little site. This post is asking something of you, the reader. I am asking you to really reflect on the ramifications of this video and its gift...and just how much we are blessed to even be able to be sitting at a computer and reading these words.

I said a prayer for these folks after watching this, and I hope you will too.

S

glumbert.com - How to give a water buffalo

Earthy Builder?

2007-08-22T12:55:00.000-07:00

So I tried the "personal DNA map" thingy that my friend Kim recently posted on her blog. Quite interesting...I am placing the results here for your amusement.

Here is a summary:

Score one for the masculine indians. Apparently I would also enjoy living in a brutal dictatorship as my thirst for authoritativeness is evident. Looks like Sylvia and I are moving to North Korea!

Ultimate Bourne

2007-08-08T12:17:00.000-07:00

It goes without saying that Ben Afflect made a wrong turn somewhere down movie lane. But the same can't be said about his buddy Matt Damon. This blog isn't going to turn into a daily analysis of all things movie (for that go to my buddy Ryan's site- Strangeculture), but I have to just say that I loved "The Bourne Ultimateum" (sp?)

If you haven't seen any of the movies, I would suggest you do so, as they are quite entertaining. The latest release ties up a lot of loose ends and is action-packed. But even my wife, who is technically a girl, told anyone she saw after viewing it that "[she] loves Jason Bourne".

If you have seen the movies, check out this clip of "The Jimmy Kimmel" show where they talk about the movie, and even have Matt Damon come in for a cameo.

No- I am not related to Apu.

2007-08-01T12:04:00.000-07:00

So I decided to fully immerse myself in the Simpson's Movie Media Marketing campaign. I thought they did an excellent job creating awareness (hype) for this movie and the results paid off- they grossed well over 30 million THE FIRST DAY.

The marketing strategy teamed the movie with major corporations including 7-11 (who converted several of their stores into the fictional "Kwiki-marts" of the movie) as well as Burger King who have been running ads with Homer Simpson. Additionally, they helped the movie's team of marketers by devoting a part of their (Burger King's) website to house a "Simpsonizer". This little software program allows users to upload pictures of themselves and create a look-a-like charachter as if the Simpson's illustrators made a caricature of the user.

So being a fan, I did it and changed my profile picture with the result. But check out the site Simpsonizeme.com so that if you are a die hard fan, you too can finally make you big break in Springfield.

I also was able to place my character in different scenes found only in Springfield, which I've attached below.

Not going to say a word.

2007-07-20T06:52:00.001-07:00

My brothers are film masters.

2007-07-12T08:53:00.001-07:00

Well, they are getting there. Chris and Jeff, and my cousin Cyril decided to make a movie in there spare time. Chris's directoral debut- "Snuggle's Revenge" is his first attempt into the horror genre.

I've attached all three parts in order for your viewing pleasure. If you want to read more about Chris and see other things he posts- visit his blogspot-

eeeugh.blogspot.com

SNUGGLE'S REVENGE: RISE OF SNUGGLE (PART 1)

SNUGGLE'S REVENGE: RISE OF SNUGGLE (PART 2)

SNUGGLE'S REVENGE: RISE OF SNUGGLE (PART 3)

Parenting 101

2007-05-21T09:30:00.000-07:00

I wish more Americans would take a lesson from this dad.

I aspire to be as creative with my discipline as he.

Click on this link if you can't view it: http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1755495

Disgusting

2007-05-08T07:18:00.000-07:00

If it seems like R. Kelly's life has remained pretty much "business as usual" since child pornography charges were placed on him five years ago, that's because it really has. He's been on three tours across the US, as well as released SIX albums (which did relatively well people!).

His life seems to mirror his R&B ballad: "Trapped in the Closet". If you haven't seen any of that nonsense, please consult youtube.com and type in- "R Kelly", "Midget" or "Spatula".

But whats more amazing is that even though R Kelly is still technically under accusations of engaing in child pornography, he felt he needed to lead the healing of those who were victimized by the Virginia Tech shootings.

He has written a song entitled, "Rise Up," a ballad preaching hope in the face of such tragedy.

"Rise Up" will be available digitally May 15, and 100 percent of the net proceeds from its sale will go to the Hokie Spirit Memorial Fund, said Jive Records, Kelly's record label.
Kelly, 40, wrote the inspirational ballad after watching the events unfold on television while he was on route to a performance, Jive said.
The lyrics include the lines: "Rise up, when you feel you can't go on, rise up, and all of your hope is gone, rise up, when you're weak and you can't be strong."

For someone whos been mocked and parodied by everyone, including Dave
Chappelle's video- "Piss On You", because of his obvious moral indiscretions, I find it hard to believe that even R Kelly felt it was appopriate to make a song to inspire a community distraught over tragedy. But maybe thats what makes R Kelly who he is. A person with some modicum of talent, who lacks the conscious to know when he should just shut up and melt into nonexistence.

I would be interested to know just how well the single "Rise Up" does and how much of those monies end up in the hands of the victims. But then again, if any of the victims knew his music and life...would they take it?

Genius!

2007-05-08T07:16:00.000-07:00

There are some naysayers out there that constantly diss on the American (Thus better quality) version of "The Office". Ricky Gervaise is a good actor, but his counterpart here has demonstrated his ability to become the awkward Michael Scott character.

Here is a video of Steve Carell doing some quality work in a piece before his current role.

glumbert.com - Steve Carell is The Dedicated Goalie

I love me some Batman

2007-04-25T06:56:00.000-07:00

Especially people's attempts to supplement America's obsession with the Dark Knight.

Soooo self centered...

2007-04-24T08:34:00.001-07:00

HowManyOfMe.com

There are
3
people with my name
in the U.S.A.

How many have your name?

Spin

2007-04-23T13:37:00.000-07:00

Hey all. This weekend, I went to the Fort Worth Main Street Art Festivals' Film Fest. Two films by friends I know were playing, and it was a great opportunity to see other in the community displaying their work.

I have never prided myself on my big motion picture trivia and technological knowledge. Because i have none. And the small film genre hasn't made me a devoted fan either. But after making a few small films of my own, I recognize the talent and patience thats necessary to make an original film, and then market it so others can enjoy.

I was getting my daily dose of glumbert.com when I watched the short film- "Spin". I found it to be very entertaining and such a unique idea. I wanted to share it with you:

glumbert.com - Spin

Tell me what you think....

A rootin' tootin time!

2007-04-20T10:27:00.000-07:00

Ok, there is not way to get around this...but I read "Dear Abby" from time to time. She has some good insight on most things, and I am not ashamed to admit I like reading about other people's problems with a little smugness. But after reading these columns for the last few years, I found this one below to just pop out at me from the page.

DEAR ABBY: I suffer from food sensitivities. Recently, during an important yearly service at a church my daughter and I have not attended for long, I had some extremely loud and embarrassing gastrointestinal symptoms from having accidentally eaten thing cooked in soybean oil at a restaurant.

This disturbance lasted more than 15 minutes, and everyone in our small church could hear it. I am now embarrassed to return to the church, as I don't want to be remembered as the woman whose flatulence wrecked the important church service. Is there any way to save face in this situation? -- IT WAS THE SOYBEANS!

DEAR SOYBEANS: When the flatulence started happening repeatedly, you should have stepped outside until it subsided. It would have spared you some embarrassment and been less of a distraction to your fellow worshippers.

However, because your concern is your fear of being remembered as the woman whose flatulence wrecked the service, you have no choice but to go back to the church and give them something positive to remember you by. Please don't let embarrassment keep you away. I'm sure your clergyperson will back me up on this.
WHY DO YOU HAVE TO WRITE TO A NATIONALLY SYNDICATED ADVICE COLUMNIST TO KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH YOUR ATOMIC FARTS? Don't they teach that to us in Sunday school? Isn't that in the same lesson plans with the Egypt Plagues?
I am trully amazed in the fact that this person doesn't know to watch what she eats with tremendous vigor since she apparently erupts like Mt. Vesuvius, and doesn't have the foresight to maybe put her hand over her butt and run out the door...but I live in America...the greatest bunch of gas releasers in the world!
PS The graphic is posted courtesy of fart.com. An actual website.

High Voltage

2007-04-18T20:35:00.000-07:00

Stop whatever you're doing...and watch this video.

glumbert.com - High Power Job

Lil 9/11

2007-04-13T10:10:00.000-07:00

I think 6 years is enough time to pass before we can parody 9/11.

glumbert.com - Lil' 9/11

I can't wait till "Human Giant" comes to MTV. Its about time a indian actor hits mainstream TV and is actually funny- without playing the role of "indian immigrant/convienence store worker".

Titanic Smi-tanic

2007-04-10T13:42:00.000-07:00

I think we all know what time it is! CONSPIRACY THEORY CORNER!!

glumbert.com - Unfastened Coins: The Titanic Conspiracy

Hahahahah...

2007-04-05T12:36:00.000-07:00

I got this from a friend of a friend's blog..and as a new homeowner, I probably found it more funny than most.

Most Wanted Lists Don't Work

2007-04-03T13:49:00.000-07:00

Because of my suspicions about some of you all, I found myself perusing the FBIs website, No, actually I read an article about one of the FBIs 10 most wanted being captured today, so I did a little background reading.

KANSAS CITY, Missouri (AP) -- The lone woman on the FBI's 10 Most Wanted list was captured and charged with one count of second-degree murder, authorities said.

Shauntay L. Henderson, 24, was arrested Saturday when she answered the door at an apartment, police said.

Authorities had gone to the apartment in search of someone she knew, authorities said. Henderson, a reputed gang member, is charged with the September 2006 shooting death of DeAndre M.
Parker, 20, who was killed as he sat in a pickup truck outside a convenience store. Court documents did not give a motive for the shooting.

So then I looked further on their webpage to see what exactly qualified you for this distinction of being the United States "Most Wanted". Of course you have the normal "super drug dealers" and murders, you have the hard core drug dealers, and child molesters. You also have Osama Bin Laden, which I personally don't think should be on the FBIs 10 most wanted because the likelihood of anyone here on US soil running into Osama at his or her local 24 Hour Fitness is about as likley as Brittney Spears becoming an intellectual.

But you would think that climbing the ranks of "Most Wantedness" would increase the capture rate of these fiends because of the exposure.

But then we have the case of Richard Steve Goldberg.

This guy has been on the list since 2001 for extensive reprehensible acts involving children. And he's still out there.

HOW THE HECK DOES THIS FOOL GO AROUND UNNOTICED? He actually looks like he's wanted for crimes. No "blending in" with the crowd here. Unless maybe he was at a Super Expo for the Criminally Insane. Even then he would be certainly looked upon by others there as scary.

I really don't think the FBIs list is considered bad for criminals. They may not even know they're on it. Apparently, even our female listee was "answering the door" to the apartment she was staying in. NO CONCERN for the authorities. I mean, she didn't even look out the peephole to see?

It saddens me that the nations Top Cops are having trouble catching these weirdos. Maybe with some more publicity it may get better. I hope.

Camping fun...

2007-04-02T07:46:00.000-07:00

So for the last three years my brothers and cousins have made a yearly camping trip. We do this because its a chance to eat junk food nonstop, go to different parts of Texas and get dirty, and to catch up on each others lives without interruption.

Previous years we've been camping and even ATVing on what could be considered the worst weather experience of any of our lives.

This years trip was more of the same fun. Here are two videos from our trip so you can get a flavor for what we typically do when we're out in the middle of nowhere.

New Home

2007-04-02T07:22:00.000-07:00

Have you every lived in an apartment? If not, consider yourself lucky. Sylvia and I lived in apartments for our first 2 years of marriage. Between the constant bass competitions between our neighbors, the crazy rental fees for 2 sq. ft, and the fact that we had a dog sharing that area...we were going crazy.

Well all that has changed.

Because of my new job, we had to figure out a way for me to commute to Dallas and for Sylvia to still be relatively close to her job in Fort Worth. We started looking for a home in DECEMBER and 2 months (and 5 house contracts later) we found a beautiful home in between.

On March 16th, 2007 Sylvia and I became homeowners. For all of you who are thinking of getting a home of your own, I highly recommend it. Its so nice to be able to sleep peacefully and not have anyone stomping around upstairs.

Anyways, here are a few pictures for your enjoyment. But to get the official tour, you'll have to visit.

New Job!

2007-03-23T07:18:00.000-07:00

So as many of you know, I had been working as the Coordinator for the City of Fort Worth's Bioterrorism Preparedness Team. I started in that position in 2004 and have enjoyed my time with that program. I really felt like I did some good things there. Before that, I had started working with the City in 2000, and after six years, I felt it was time to move on and try something new.

On February 19, 2007 I accepted the position of Sr. Business Continuity Planner for UT Southwestern Medical Center at Dallas.

So, you might ask, "What is a UT Southwestern Medical Center at Dallas?"and "What exactly does a Sr. Business Continuity Planner do?"

Well...UT Southwestern Medical Center is comprised of a world reknown medical, allied health and graduate schools, a research center, two hospitals and several clinics all conviently located in the heart of Dallas, TX. (There, I've paid for the image and logo I've placed on this page)

Now what I do is part of the department of Business Continuity. Basically, my job is focused on the emergency management for the center, as well as preparing all 538 departments within the medical center to continue working even after a major disaster occurrs. This include disaster planning and identifying all the various functions that are necessary to continue operations, and helping the staff determine how to prioritize and recover if the facility was destroyed.

I'm finding that its ALOT of work. This is because I've responded to more emergencies in 3 weeks then I have in 6 years working for Fort Worth. But I actually have enjoyed this, and additionally enjoy the exposure to the hospital setting, which I got my formal education in.

Needless to say, I feel like a freshman in high school again. There is 7.3 million square feet of University owned space here, and 4 campuses. I don't know very many people and I used to be a medium-sized fish in a small pond. Now I feel like plankton. But, I will get accustomed to it, and will definately keep you all posted on things that happen around here.

Welcome Back Shaner!

2007-03-23T07:04:00.000-07:00

Ok, so i told you- I WILL WRITE LOTS OF POSTS and then TAKE LOTS OF BREAKS from this blog. Not because I don't love each and everyone of you and want to keep you updated, but because things tend to distract me.

So I am returning from the first of many hiatus-i (sp? word?). There is a reason for this one though-

Alot has happened.

So over the next few posts, I will fill you in on the updates! Pay attention though, I am only going to write this once.

New Videos!

2007-01-23T20:12:00.000-08:00

Please view these at your pleasure...

The first is a funny video that classically depicts how Indian parents are so different than others, and consequently how I am so crazy.

The second is a self-made movie entitled "Thashum (Angry) Uncle". My groomsmen and I made this video and played it at my wedding. It needs no explanation. Enjoy!

Winter Wonderland

2007-01-17T10:32:00.000-08:00

It snowed last night!

Yeah, I know, its not the deep luscious snow that some of my cousins are used to up north, but its more than Florida gets!

I didn't even know we were going to get any....but I got a few calls this morning from some of my staff letting me know they wouldn't come in at the normal time because of the weather. As I silently laughed at them for being wusses, I opened the door to our apartment's balcony and saw this:

I took my newly groomed dog- Abby, out for her morning constitutional. Have you ever seen a dog pee in the snow? She stands on her tippy toes, and then goes to town...leaving a bored out hole in the snow... hahaha...

Here are some pictures of Abby in the snow. No, there isn't any "pee-shots".

Also, for all you haters out there who dissaprove of my truck's remote start capabilities...guess how nice it was to get into the cab of my wonderfully warm truck. (See picture taken from my balcony where I was equally as warm and cozy)

(Close of up shot of the warm exhaust of my snow covered truck)

The Office

2007-01-05T14:18:00.000-08:00

Many of you may not have heard of the NBC Show- "The Office" which plays Thursday Nights at 7:30pm CST.

Here is a brief synopsis taken from Wikipedia:

The Office is an Emmy Award-winning American television comedy that debuted on NBC as a midseason replacement on March 24, 2005. The show is about the day-to-day lives of office employees in the Scranton, Pennsylvania branch of the fictitious Dunder-Mifflin Paper Company. Although fictional and scripted, the show takes the form of a documentary, with the presence of the audience and camera often acknowledged.

My friend Nathan turned me onto the show and I now am a huge fan. From the first time that Nathan begged me to see the show, I have steadily grown to love the American Version which was adapted from Britain's original programming by the same name.

Just as Nathan told me in his three hour power point lecture entitled: "Why the British Office Sucks by Nathan", the American version has superbly taken the show from the Brits and made it a household name.

Anyways, I just wanted you to know about a wonderful program that I am sure you will love and thank me and Nathan later for informing you about it.

Ohh...Nathan just called and wanted me to add that "Ricky Gervaise sucks!"

I am happy to oblige.

What I did for the Holidays...

2007-01-05T13:37:00.000-08:00

So I haven't really posted what all I did over the holidays therefore I figured that I would give you all a little update on what Shane Did For Christmas & New Years.

Christmas: Now as you may know, my wife has a rather random schedule that oftentimes results in different schedules on different days. For Christmas, Sylvia had to work Christmas Eve morning and Christmas Day evening...

Now our parents and prospective parents-in-laws get along soo well, that we decided to have Christmas together to accommodate Sylvia's schedule. We ended up meeting at my parents' house in Colleyville and spending time together. We all opened presents together on Christmas Eve after singing some Christmas carols and reading the passage in Luke on Christ's birth.

I got quite a nice haul this year...thanks to my wife and families, who really got me things that they normally don't get me and things they knew I would love! I was really impressed with my brothers and parents gift of a brush guard for my little ATV. It will really come in handy that next time I go over a cliff. We wouldn't want the ATV to get damaged, now would we?

New Years: Sylvia was off for this weekend, and so we got to hang out together and with family. We went house shopping as we may be in the market for a new home...thats a story in itself. But on New Years eve, we ended up visiting with some friends, Sharon & Steve from Austin, who came up to visit their family and go the the Cowboys Game. (Who lost to the DETROIT LIONS...ugh)

Sylvia and I ended up ringing in the New Years with my parents at my old church- India Pentecostal Assembly. It was great to see old friends!

And that...my friends...was the most boring post I've written to date.

It will never happen again.

Mo Money...Mo Problems

2007-01-05T13:26:00.000-08:00

When you think of a drug dealer...what do you think of? The words usually conjure up images of big spending gangsters with a penchant for bling and satisfying their wildest dreams.

But some recent research indicates that the cash isn't always flowing in all levels of the organization.

Check out this enjoyable lecture entitled:

Why selling drugs in a gang is the worst job in America

More Turkey Pictures

2007-01-01T16:56:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone! I just wanted to post the link to the pictures Sylvia and I took while in Turkey...

Check them out when you have a moment..

http://new.photos.yahoo.com/shanemathew27/albums

The easiest person I shop for...

2006-12-20T12:19:00.000-08:00

Have you ever tried to buy presents for Sylvia? Though I ask that rhetorically, I want to reiterate that I am not complaining at all. My wife is probably the most laid back person when it comes to buying things for her. She literally is the woman all men dream about. She walks into a store, locates a shirt or pants (preferably in black or gray) and then proceeds to buy 13 of them.

Because we were in Turkey this year for the first two weeks of December, Christmas shopping was nonexistent. I didn't even attempt to find out what she wanted...until Monday.

Here is the list my wife provided me. (This is not made up)

Dark Jeans

Tan Corduroy Pants

Gray Corduroy Pants

Pillow Stuffing

Martini Glasses

Reversible Belt

Yeah- high maintenance I know.

To follow it up, I received an email from my wife with some additions. AI thought to myself "ahh...the initial list must of have been bogus" She didn't want PILLOW STUFFING after all, probably diamonds and rubies like most other women would like to have...

From: Mathew, Sylvia

Sent: Monday, December 18, 2006 11:50 AM

To: Mathew, Shane

Subject: RE: Lunch

Hey! I would also like cooling racks for Christmas

This email was followed by this one:

From: Mathew, Sylvia

Sent: Monday, December 18, 2006 2:43 PM

To: Mathew, Shane

Subject: RE: Lunch

Here it is:
http://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/product.asp?order_num=-1&SKU=103303&RN=111

I also want metal spatulas (medium and thin)

Actually, don’t buy any pants for me, I’ll just have to try it on….thanks!

Thank you Jesus for the beautiful creature you provided for me as my wife.

Did the Wise Men Wrap their Gifts???

2006-12-20T12:11:00.000-08:00

Well, Christmas is a few days away. I hope you all are either ready, or almost ready for the ceremonial "opening of presents" followed by the equally important "returning of presents". As I buy and wrap things, I can't help byt think when the "suprise" part of Christmas presents started...

Enjoy this journey into the origins of wrapping paper and its impact on men everywhere!

This is the time of year when we think back to the very first Christmas, when the Three Wise Men -- Gaspar, Balthazar, and Herb -- went to see the baby Jesus and, according to the Book of Matthew, "presented unto Him gifts; gold, frankincense, and myrrh." These are simple words, but if we analyze them carefully, we discover an important, yet often overlooked, theological fact: there is no mention of wrapping paper.

If there had been wrapping paper, Matthew would have said so: "And lo, the gifts were inside 600 square cubits of paper. And the paper was festooned with pictures of Frosty the Snowman. And Joseph was going to throweth it away, but Mary saideth unto him, she saideth, 'Holdeth it! That is nice paper! Saveth it for next year!' And Joseph did rolleth his eyeballs. And the baby Jesus was more interested in the paper than the frankincense."

But these words do not appear in the Bible, which means that the very first Christmas gifts were NOT wrapped. This is because the people giving those gifts had two important characteristics:

1. They were wise.

2. They were men.

Men are not big gift wrappers. Men do not understand the point of putting paper on a gift just so somebody else can tear it off. This is not just my opinion, this is a scientific fact based on a statistical survey of two guys I know. One is Rob, who said the only time he ever wraps a gift is "if it's such a poor gift that I don't want to be there when the person opens it." The other is Gene, who told me he does wrap gifts, but as a matter of principle never takes more than 15 seconds per gift. "No one ever had to wonder which presents daddy wrapped at Christmas," Gene said. "They were the ones that looked like enormous spitballs."

I also wrap gifts, but because of some defect in my motor skills, I can never completely wrap them. I can take a gift the size of a deck of cards and put it the exact center of a piece of wrapping paper the size of a regulation volleyball court, but when I am done folding and taping, you can still see a sector of the gift peeking out. (Sometimes I camouflage this sector with a marking pen.) If I had been an ancient Egyptian in the field of mummies, the lower half of the Pharaoh's body would be covered only by Scotch tape.

On the other hand, if you give my wife a 12-inch square of wrapping paper, she can wrap a C-130 cargo plane. My wife, like many women, actually likes wrapping things. If she gives you a gift that requires batteries, she wraps the batteries separately, which to me is very close to being a symptom of mental illness. If it were possible, my wife would wrap each individual volt.

My point is that gift-wrapping is one of those skills like having babies that come more naturally to women than to men. That is why today I am presenting:

Gift Wrapping Tips for Men:

* Whenever possible, buy gifts that are already wrapped. If, when the recipient opens the gift, neither one of you recognizes it, you can claim that it's myrrh.

* The editors of Woman's Day magazine recently ran an item on how to make your own wrapping paper by printing a design on it with an apple sliced in half horizontally and dipped in a mixture of food coloring and liquid starch. They must be smoking crack. If you're giving a hard-to-wrap gift, skip the wrapping paper! Just put it inside a bag and stick one of those little adhesive bows on it. This creates a festive visual effect that is sure to delight the lucky recipient on Christmas morning:

YOUR WIFE: Why is there a Hefty trash bag under the tree?

YOU: It's a gift! See? It has a bow!

YOUR WIFE (peering into the trash bag): It's a leaf blower.

YOU: Gas-powered! Five horsepower!

YOUR WIFE: I want a divorce.

YOU: I also got you some myrrh.

In conclusion, remember that the important thing is not what you give, or how you wrap it. The important thing, during this very special time of year, is that you save the receipt.

---Author Unknown (but definitely male)

Spongeback Mountain

2006-12-20T07:52:00.000-08:00

Ok, ok, I know there are two videos in a row, but I love this old clip. Hope you enjoy one of the big phenomenoms of the year- merging clips of TV shows with the theme of Brokeback Mountain. (The original Trailer is here)

My Family's Monkey

2006-12-19T13:25:00.001-08:00

So you may ask if its just Shane who has major genetic mutations present in his DNA. No my friends, its a family thing. Here is my brother Jeff...dancing/having an epilecptic seizure at a recent group activity...

By the way, as my other brother Chris and I can attest, this is the most we've seen Jeff move in a while.

This is pretty self explanatory...

2006-12-19T06:54:00.000-08:00

Runner fails gender test, loses medal

2006-12-19T06:33:00.000-08:00

NEW DELHI, India (AP) — An Indian runner who won a silver medal in the women's 800 meters at the Asian Games failed a gender test and was stripped of the medal.

Shanti Sounderajan, 25, took the gender test in Doha, Qatar, after placing second.
The Indian Olympic Association said Monday it has been told by the Olympic Council of Asia that the 25-year-old runner was disqualified.

"IOA has asked the Athletic Federation of India to return the medal as desired by the Olympic Council of Asia," the Indian Olympic group said.

The IOA also asked its medical commission to inquire into Sounderajan's case and report within 10 days. There are no compulsory gender tests during events sanctioned by track and field's international ruling body, but athletes may be asked to take a gender test. The medical evaluation panel usually includes a gynecologist, endocrinologist, psychologist and internal medicine specialist.

An Indian athletics official who spoke to The Associated Press on condition of anonymity because he was not authorized to speak to the media said Sounderajan almost certainly never had sex-change surgery.

Instead, the official said Sounderajan appeared to have "abnormal chromosomes." The official also said the test revealed more Y chromosomes than allowed.

Sounderajan was not immediately available for comment.

How is it that out of the 2 stories A YEAR that focus on Indian sports, this is one of them? Sometimes it pains me to read the news of the world. But one thing I am confused on- if this "thing" is a dude, did he/she want to compete with women because he felt he was a woman? Or did he want to compete with women because he wasn't good enough to compete with men?

Oh and by the way, he/she only placed 2nd in the race...so it was a silver medal that was stripped. Not even first place!

Credible Non Travestite Athletes- 1

Brown Hemaphrodites- 0

Turkey for me...Turkey for you..

2006-12-16T12:46:00.000-08:00

So from December 1 thru December 12, my wife Sylvia and I, were in Turkey. "Wow", "Amazing", or "Super-duper" you may say...yes Turkey was all that. We went with some friends from Deercreek, our fellowship, and spent time in Istanbul, Izmir (Ephesus), and Van.

Let me just start off with my description of Turkey as being a strange and unique land filled with people that are obsessed with one thing and one thing only. Smoking their tender sweet cigarettes. I ceased to feel the slight bit sorry for the tarnished image tobacco gets in this country. The poor tobacco farmer of Virginia will always have a job as long as there is even one Turk alive! Jeez...my body shut down on day 4 of the trip because I was in a hotel that was so inviting to smokers, they allowed it in the elevators.

So one big part of the trip was that Sylvia and I got to spend some time in Ephesus, home of Big Paul of biblical fame. Fortunately for me and my strong feelings against taking digital pictures of once-in-a-lifetime visits to significant religious archielogic sites, I left my camera at the hotel. (Well atleast thats what I thought all day long...untill on the way back to the airport I discoved the camera in my camera bag.) But we did get plenty of video, which I hope to edit for my friends and families viewing someday soon.

After spending time in Istanbul, we felt it necessary to spend time in the eastern part of the country. Our friends from Deercreek, Stephen and Sarah, now live and work there. They were the most gracious of hosts, and showed us the beautiful city they live in. They even escorted us to Mt. Ararat of Noah's Ark fame, were we got plenty of pictures. Though I was man handled by some random police at the various checkpoints on the road, it was a beautiful run through the countryside. The numerous mountains and beautiful lake surrounding the city almost made me envious. Almost.

Here are some more significant pics from this trip...

2006-12-16T12:44:00.000-08:00

Ahh you've probably noticed the various pictures of the Turkish treat- Browni Gold. This tasty confection, made by super popular ETi Baked Goods Company of Turkey, was discovered by Sylvia and I on our travel to Ephesus. We were enjoying the snack/lunch provided on Turkish Airlines, and found this dessert that was sooo chocolatey and delicious. We converted our friends Carol, and friends Sarah/Stephen who live in country and who had never tasted it before our visit! (I think it has something to do with their vile decision to eat only healthy foods...)

Needless to say, my quest/obsession for this dessert was evident as everything was put on hold untill we stopped to find these single-service delights at the various small shops and stores we stopped at.

Try it out next time you're in Turkey, I know you will be as hooked as me!

The begining of a web phenomenom...

2006-12-14T12:11:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I will probably regret the hubris filled subject line of my very first post in a few months. Most probably due to the lack of activity on this blog. But perhasps I will even surprise myself by posting interesting things from time to time on here.

A little about myself...

I am Shane. I am brown. I am not ashamed.

I named this blog based on my skin color because I think every event in my life, up to this point, has been based upon this unplanned event. My melatonin have shaped me into the person I am, and the way I see the world. Hopefully, from this point forward, you will get an idea of why I think that way. Hopefully, it will all make sense.